I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
