doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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