I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
420 ftw
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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