No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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