Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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