Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
