Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize