well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Randomize
