I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
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