So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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