Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
