Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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