He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
