look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
