Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
