we have pet lesbian snakes
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
