guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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