She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
