lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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