new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
