Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
Too much gin, very little bucket
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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