I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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