Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
