I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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