there were more penises there than on chat roulette
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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