Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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