So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
