Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize