Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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