Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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