no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
