i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
