I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
