hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
