my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
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