i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
Randomize
