That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
