She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
