We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
