HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
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