im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
