the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
