Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
