Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Randomize
