I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
