and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
if only i could text you this smell
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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