What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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