Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
