It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Randomize
