Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
