A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
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