I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
