My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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