Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
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