If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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