dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
