just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
In other news, I just burned my penis
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
