you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I'm too high and old for this...
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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