im gay
i know
yea but for you.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
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