im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Randomize
