I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Randomize
